


Grublets on Ice

by maybelater



Category: Blades of Glory (2007)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-20
Updated: 2010-12-20
Packaged: 2017-10-13 21:40:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/141999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maybelater/pseuds/maybelater
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stranz and Fairchild van Waldenberg seek skating jobs after being released from prison.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Grublets on Ice

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lady Anne Boleyn (Silver_Queen)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silver_Queen/gifts).



> I love this movie so I was super excited to get a prompt for it. Thanks to my wonderful beta for fixing my grammar and thanks to my recipient for requesting something from this movie!

“Uh, Bryce, there is someone… well, two someones, here to see you,” Sammy said, hesitantly.

Bryce glanced up at her, peering over his new issue of Maxim. “Why do you sound so weird, Sammy? Send them in,” he said, tossing his magazine to the side and straightening his tie in the reflection of his computer monitor.

“Hello, good sir!” a chirpy female voice sang. Bryce looked up from his reflection where he was slicking down his eyebrows and what he saw made the blood drain from his face.

“ _Fairchild?_ ” he choked out. “What are you doing here? I thought you were in prison.”

He noticed Fairchild’s smile falter slightly before she responded. “We were. We were just released and saw your poster outside for audit-“

“NO!” Bryce shouted over her.

“-tions,” she trailed off. “Why? We are amazing skaters!”

“Amazing,” Stranz added. Bryce had barely noticed him hovering behind his sister like a weird, overly tall, colored shadow. Or a lost puppy.

“You’re too much of a liability. Ex-cons? In my ice show production? No!”

“Fine,” Fairchild said, in a clipped, angry tone. “We’ll just have to see how we can change your mind. Stranz? Did you bring the thing?”

“What thing?” Stranz asked, confused.

“The thing.” Fairchild gesticulated aimlessly in the air.

“OH, right. The thing. Yeah, I have it. Did you want me to hold him down while you use it, or should I just go right for him?”

“How about you hold him down? I can-"

“ALL RIGHT," Bryce interjected, panicked. “You can be in the show as long as you don’t use that... _thing_ on me.”

“Awesome,” Stranz said. “We want your lead roles. And we also want to be paid a lot.”

“No. You can be a, uh, a squirrel,” Bryce consulted a list on his makeshift desk. “And Fairchild, you’ll be Woodland Fairy number three. And you’ll be paid minimum wage and have to provide your own travel expenses.”

“Fair enough,” Fairchild answered haughtily.

“Great. Go see Sammy outside and she’ll get your costumes fitted. Now get out,” Bryce said firmly, pointing to the door. He hoped he hadn’t just made a huge mistake.

\--

The first showing of Grublets on Ice in Hackensack, New Jersey, was the next night. Bryce had hired three other skaters in addition to the van Waldenbergs and now had a complete cast list. Sammy had come up to him after fitting Stranz and Fairchild with their new costumes to complain.

“They’re just so weird and, I don’t know, creepy. I feel like if I’m alone with them for too long they’ll Tonya Harding me. I don’t even skate!”

He had chosen to ignore her; she had poor judgment in people, after all, if dating Chazz Michael Michaels for three years was any indication.

But now. Now he wasn’t so sure that was the right approach.

“Did you just trip the evil wizard?” Bryce asked Stranz, incredulous. He had two minutes before he had to send the cast onto the ice for the opening number. The house was packed.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Stranz responded without the slightest hint of guilt in his voice.

Well, that was entirely possible. Maybe Bryce was imagining things. Or maybe Stranz didn’t understand what tripping the evil wizard meant. Maybe the van Waldenbergs were sociopaths. Whatever, he’d deal with it later. He probably imagined the whole thing after all, although the evil wizard was now skating a little weird, favoring his right leg. Maybe he was imagining that too.

“Okay, fine, just get out there and skate. You know, I’d fire you, but you skated so damn great in rehearsal. Now get in line right now or I really will fire you!”

\--

The next day, Squirrel Number 1, Gary, met him in his office. Or, what Bryce called his office. It was actually a spare room in the arena where he set up his laptop and read magazines.

“Yo, Bryce, those van Waldenbergs? They’re gross, man.”

“What do you mean?” Bryce asked, distracted. He was trying to solve the crossword in the back of his issue of Cosmo and eat his bags of chips. He was busy.

“At the party last night, man? Well, I’m not sure; I was pretty stoned. But Stacy told me she saw them van Waldenbergs make out. Like, with each other. Aren’t they related?”

“Ew, what? Really?” Bryce looked up from his crossword. “They’re brother and sister. Twins. They were making out? I thought that was just a rumor from the World Wintersports Games three years ago.”

“Yeah, dude. Stacy doesn’t lie. But she was wasted last night so maybe she hallucinated things. Just thought I’d let you know. To, ya know, keep an eye on them.”

“Yeah, okay, thanks.” He waved dismissively as Gary got up and walked out the door.

\--

The next two shows in Hackensack went off without a hitch, or any more weird complaints about the van Waldenbergs. Bryce was also making tons of money off hiring the van Waldenbergs. Apparently, people were really interested in seeing ex-cons skate in a kiddie ice show.

The day of the last show in the city, however, the evil wizard ran into his office in a panic.

“Bryce! Bryce!”

“What the hell, Steve? Can’t you knock?” Bryce was annoyed by the interruption. He was this close to beating his all time record on Minesweeper. He didn’t have time for petty interruptions from his cast members.

“They’re after me, Bryce!”

“Who’s after you?” Bryce sighed, shutting his laptop and looking at Steve’s terrified face.

“Stranz and Fairchild! I heard them in the locker room. They’re plotting something! I think they want my part! I heard them mention Stacy too. They’re after us, I’m telling you.”

“Look, are you sure you aren’t drunk? Hungover? Stoned? The party last night did go on for a while.”

“No, man, I’m not. I’m totally sober. They’re going to get me.”

“Okay, whatever, I’ll keep an eye on them tonight. Just stop looking so terrified. You’re an evil wizard, not a pansy ass wizard. Get out there and man up. I got this.”

Steve looked like he didn’t believe him, but shrugged and walked out of the office door anyway.

Bryce sighed and opened his laptop back up. He had mines to sweep.

\--

Later that night, he decided he may as well investigate the van Waldenbergs. He had three complaints about them so far, and heard at least ten other rumors at the post-show parties (to which Stranz and Fairchild were no longer invited) about them.

Bryce walked into the locker room just in time to see Stranz approaching Steve from behind, a metal pipe raised above his head.

“What the fuck?!” Bryce yelled.

Stranz startled in panic and dropped the metal pipe with a loud clatter. Steve jumped up and ran out the door in terror at the noise.

“I wasn’t doing anything?” Stranz said, raising the last syllable so it sounded more like a question.

Fairchild walked out from behind the lockers and crossed her arms. “Great, Stranz, you got us caught. You were supposed to be secretive about this!”

“What the hell is going on here?” Bryce asked, slightly panicked.

“Nothing is going on, because Stranz can’t do anything right!” Fairchild glared at her brother.

“Whatever, sis, you totally suck at plotting things. I can’t believe I went along with it! Why would a pipe to the head give me the part of the evil wizard? I hate you.”

Fairchild scoffed and smacked Stranz across the face. A split second later they were kissing.

“Oh my god, c’mon.” Bryce separated the two of them, feeling disgusted and horrified. “You guys are officially fired, by the way. Now get out of here or I really will call the police! How did you even get out of prison?”

Bryce dragged them by the arms, ignoring their protests, to the back exit and tossed them outside. “And don’t come back!”

As he shut the door, he sighed. He should have learned from his mistakes. Hiring famous skaters fallen from grace never led to anything good.

\--

END


End file.
